The Best (and Worst) Movies and TV of 2022

[Kaing of Kaings]

Well, it's been a while but I am back on and it is time to put 2022 to bed. I know, I know. There was some confusion about how I organized things but the new system goes, I list all the movies I have seen without ranking and then I come in later and give them their proper place. Some of these movies may end up in the honorable mentions and some may end up in the worst movies. Some might disappear as they were neither good nor bad, just eehhh. 2022 was an ok year. I surprisingly saw a bunch of movies and TV shows. Movie-wise, nothing jumped out as a five-star movie but Avatar 2 and Fall are pretty close. Avatar mostly for the spectacle but also I do like the story focusing on Jake Sully's kids instead of the adults. Fall was one of the most tense watches I have seen in a long time and I am a sucker for that kind of movie. Top Gun: Maverick was a great popcorn movie with mostly real special effects, always refreshing while The Fabelmans dived into Spielberg's childhood and has an almost perfect ending. Too bad assigned seating and a fat guy knocked that down a point. TV was great in 2022 with Stranger Things - Season 4 and Better Call Ball - Season 6 leading the way. Both shows were at the top of their game. Documentaries were really good too with The Fastest Woman on Earth just knocking me out. Rarely do I contemplate life and death in such a way after watching a movie or documentary but this one did. So sad what happened to Jessi Combs but she also was an extraordinary person who lived an interesting life. As far s the worst, I only saw three stinkers this year. Schweew. Let's get to it, shall we? As always, items with an * means I five starred that Shieet.

The Best Movies of 2022:

1. Avatar: The Way of the Water - (Avatard: The Way of the Wet Wee Wee)
1. (Tie) Fall - (Two Stu Girls try to DX off the top of a 2000' TV tower. What could go Wrong?)
2. Top Gun: Maverick - (Top Buns: Hi Guys Beach Volley Ball Party)
2. (Tie) The Fabelmans - (Would have got an extra star had there not been some big fat guy moaning loudly in the theater after Michelle Williams did her see thru skirt scene.)
3. The Northman - (Vikings will shing your ween)
3. (Tie) Beast - (Idris Elba gets shinged by Lions who are attacking Adam Goldberg in a Roller Coaster Tycoon Game)
4. Thirteen Lives - (Vigo Mortensen Swims through a cave and grabs LBBs)
5. The Black Phone - (Ethan Hawke gets Scary)
6. Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio - (Out of the 500 Pinocchio Movies released in 2022, this was the best by far)
7. Thor: Love and Thunder - (A fun movie after driving through shitty Toronto, ON traffic)
7. (Tie) The Menu - (Who's wiener is on the menu?)
7. (Tie) Emily the Criminal - (Wah Lady the Critical)
7. (Tie) All Quiet on the Western Front - (Not as good as the 1930s and 70s versions but still well done)
8. Prey - (About time they make a good Predator Movie)
8. (Tie) RRR - (An Indian (from India) movie with dancing, flying with fart power and ultimate fights)
8. (Tie) Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - (Glass Bunion: A Rich Douchebag Non Mystery)
9. X - (Oates and Axes)
10. The Greatest Beer Run Ever - (One of those fall movies you see at the Wah's house that give you some warm fuzzies)
10. (Tie) Lightyear - (Oh my god. One of the Characters is a lesbian and kissed another woman. How can we ever move on as a society!)
10. (Tie) Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - (Pussar in Boots: The Last Flatch)
11. Violent Night - (Die Hard Meets a Christmas Story)
12. Hustle - (Adam Sandler can't coach Basketball)
13. Chip N’ Dale Rescue Rangers - (Sometimes, some crimes...)
14. Dr. Strange and the Multiflatch of Madness - (Dr. Strange Tang and a Mouth of Oatesness)
14. (Tie) Barbarian - (Don't go into a basement or be Justin Long in a horror movie)
14. (Tie) Nope - (UFO stuff is interesting but side stories are unnecessary)
15. Operation Mincemeat - (Collin Firth and Tom from Succession try to trick the Nazis)
16. God’s Country - (Thandie Newton vs Montana Hicks in the Country)



"Now remember kids. There are light green Navi'i teenagers here you may want to oates with. Try not to ignore everything I tell you."



If you ever have to get stuck on top of a radio tower. Make sure the girl you are with has nice Bewbs!


Honorable Mentions: The Buttman, Turning Red, the Adam Project, Scream, Beavis and Butthead do the Universe, Infinite Storm, The Grey Man, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Don’t Worry Darling, Where the Crawdads Sing, A Christmas Story Christmas, Bullet Train Marcel The Shell with Shoes, The Banshees of Inisherin, Vengeance, the Woman Kaing,Talk to Me, Smile

Best TV of 2022:

1. Stranger Things - Season 4* - (Shit gets Real!)
1. (Tie) Better Call Saul - Season 6* - (Saul faces the music. Some episodes are just as good if not better than Breaking Bad)
2. Man Vs Bee - (Mr. Bean takes on a Bumble Butted Bee)
2. (Tie) 1923 - Season 1 (Better than Yellowstone and way more Oates)
2. (Tie) Abraham Lincoln
3. Cobra Kai - Season 5 - (The show is getting kind of old. Still an Ultimate Ballwars)
3. (Tie) Yellowstone- Season 5 - Part 1 (This season is better than the last but people are still making dumb decisions)
4. The End is Nye - (Bill Nye talks about farts causing extinction)
4. (TIe) Pam and Tommy - (Tommy's wee wee talks!)
4. (Tie) The Bear - Season 1 -(Lip knows how to cook but does he know how to deal with Sheeeit)
5. The White Lotus - Season 2 - (Salieri farts up a storm and has old balls)
6. 1883 - (Sam Elliot has to lead a bunch of German Hessians across the plains while trying to not get wood from the hot Dutton Chick)
6. (Tie) Rick and Morty - Season 6
7. Ozark - Season 4 - (Ruth can only take on hessians and the Byrd family for so long)
7. (Tie) Limitless - (Chris Hemsworth chills his balls)
8. House of the Dragon - Season 1 - (Game of Wieners travels back in time to when the Targaryens flew on dragons that farted fire on their enemies)
9. Under the Banner of Heaven - (Not as good as the book but Andrew Garfield still does good work)
10. Death and Robots - Season 3 - (The show needs more cartoon oates)
11. South Park - Season 25 - (Still going. Some hits. Some misses)
11. (Tie) Family Guy - Season 21 (See South Parks comment)
12. The Midnight Club - (Not the best from Mike Flanagan. Hopefully 2023's show will be better)
13. The Crown - Season 5 - (Show is getting kind of boring)
14. 1899 - (Starts off good then becomes a weird confusing mess about titanic ships caught in a video game)



We're running up that hill, running up that building....



Great show but time for it to end!

Best Documentaries of 2022:

1. The Fastest Woman in the World* - (This one hit me hard. So tragic and inspirational at the same time)
2. Woodstock 1999 - (Teenagers and corporate greed gone wrong)
3. Theodore Roosevelt - (Watch TR get naked with French Diplomats and dip his sac in a pond in Rock Park)
4. The Edge of the Earth - (Four Fascinating Stories)
5. Prehistoric Planet - Season 1 - (Dinosaurs fart on earth again)
6. The Volcano: Rescue from Whakaari - (Stu tourists)
6. (Tie) Aftershock: Everest and the Nepal Earthquake - (More Stu Tourists)
7. Navalny - (The Biggest Balls in Russia)
8. Ken Burns' Benjamin Franklin
8. (Tie) Sheryl - (Sheryl Crow sings the blues)
9. Indivisible: Healing Hate - (Mandy Patinkin gives Racists, fascists, and Maga's a cold stare)
10. Fire of Love - (Two Volcanologist oates at volcanoes)



A must-watch for those who loved Myth Busters

Worst of 2022:
1. Halloween Ends - (Jamie Lee Curtis is an old Wah but can still take on Mike Meyers but the movie still sucks balls)
2. Weird - (Except for the pool scene, not that funny)
3. Jurassic Fart: Dominion Poop - (A beloved series comes to a new low with this turd of a sequel. So dumb on so many levels)
4. Spirited - (Will Ferrel and Ryan Reynolds can’t sing)
5. Babylon - (Pretentious, overlong, gross, boring, confusing fart fest)



It's old Wah vs Michael Meyers...again. Nobody cares.